For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others then your heavenly father will not forgive your transgressions. Matthew 6:14-15
We think about this, read it in the Bible and go on thinking we are okay because we justify why we are okay not to forgive. The Bible doesn't say except for this circumstance or situation, Diana you're okay. No the Bible say we are to forgive, plain and simple. That's a pretty serious scripture!
What we need to realize is that forgiveness is NOT saying that what someone did is okay. Forgiveness is making the choice to give the situation over to God and releasing yourself from the situation.
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Often we also need God to heal our hearts after we choose to forgive, because the pain you have gone through is devastating and deeply wounded down to your marrow. It's often NOT instantaneous but once we make the decision to forgive, God can and will heal our hearts. True healing can come as a result of forgiveness. Would you be willing to forgive someone in order to be healed and made whole and effective foe the kingdom of God. Not forgiving others causes a wall to be put up between ourselves and God. No one wants to be in that position.
What I needed to do a few times was to sit down with a notebook and pen and I prayed that God would show me anyone I needed to forgive. When God spoke to me I would ask Him to forgive me and heal my broken heart. I would write down the date I prayed and asked for forgiveness. I would also write down the date God healed my heart. I'm not saying this is easy but according to God's WORD it's what we all need to do.
Some may so but you have not gone through this and that. I am telling you I have gone through rape, suicide attemps, death, family estranged. Some of these things I have gone through have taken time to heal my heart but I write this to tell the world, only God can heal my heart and fill it with love. A love that lasts for eternity. That my friend is what I needed and what I desire to be filled with the love of Jesus so I can shine for HIM!
We all have a story to tell of the goodness of God, go and tell the world how Jesus has changed your world.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
today could be stressful
Today is one of those days that could be stressful. I have been praying about this day, the appointment, his numbers and overall report. Kaden is going to Children's for his three month check-up for type 1. We took him in July and not knowing what to expect it well pretty good. We had Maddy with us and we knew we would go somewhere to eat when we were done. Every time we go to Children's we see all types of children, some with physical problems, some mental and those like Kaden that appear normal but have a disease too. I always try to smile at everyone I see but looking at Kaden's appearance you can tell this is hard on him emotionally. I am so proud of him, he knows everything about his type 1 and can answer the techs, doctors and care givers what they need. This has taught me a huge lesson, I am not in control of anything. As a mom, grandmother and wife I sometimes think I can control or have a say in what will happen. God says, " Diana I have this under control just trust me". I know Lord, when I do trust you it's always perfect even if I do not like the answer, it's good.
Stresses can be traffic, people with road rage, parking, the wait, Oh the wait is sometimes hard on Marvin. We need to be the calm today and just enjoy the trip. We loaded in our car and Marvin drove down to Children's we made good time, even Brandi commented we made it in 35 minutes. No traffic, no problems, thank you God.
Right before we get to Children's, Kaden says to his mom, why do I need to get checked, I'm good. Short story you just need to be checked every three months. I think he just doesn't like to see the things he sees. We usually keep him occupied with a game or something. This time grandpa shows him videos he has on Kaden shooting hoops with his friends, and several games this year, good job grandpa!!
We get in the hospital and before we even get to our set of elevators I see a sweet little girl with either cancer or leukemia, no hair. Both parents are texting people with news of her treatment and she just sat there and smiled at everyone that would look at her. Oh honey I will pray for you that's a promise. We arrive at Kaden's floor, check in, do paper work and they called them to go in. We choose to stay in the lobby to give them privacy. As I was sitting there waiting, you see all kinds of ailments, diseases. You hear of people traveling down from Erie in a total whiteout and here we sit only 35 minutes away from a great hospital. Puts life into perspective sometimes....
These two families were dreading their drive home, hoping no to having the whiteout nor bad roads. I saw teenagers having to take care of babies with difficulties of all kinds. I went to use the ladies restroom and there witnessed a teen trying to get a feeding tube corrected, getting nervous and her mother telling her she had to learn how to take care of her baby. Oh my so sad... I always leave Children's with a thankful heart knowing God is in control and He will be with Kaden every step, not missing one step.
Kaden got a great report, his A1C was 6.2 which is very good. His numbers were good since his last appointment and his doctor even complimented him on having good numbers over the Holidays. He will now start taking his insulin with a flex pen once the insurance goes through. He is excited about this, no more having syringes. Hope the insurance goes through quick so he doesn't have to wait. His pancreas is still producing some insulin so he may have genetic type insulin, not 1 or 2. I will have to look it up to tell you the correct name. He will still be insulin dependent but still produce some insulin on his own just not enough.
Good thing he did have an appointment, his meter was off by 30 points which is not good. They gave him a new meter, that Kaden is just one of the reasons to be checked every three months.
On the car ride home it was fun just to hear Kaden and his mom talk about his appointment, so funny. He is so much like his mom, we just laughed!!! So it was not a stressful day or time but one of attention to others around me so I could pray with them.
Good drive home, no stress and again such a good report. I can not even begin to thank the Lord for His goodness and graces today......
Stresses can be traffic, people with road rage, parking, the wait, Oh the wait is sometimes hard on Marvin. We need to be the calm today and just enjoy the trip. We loaded in our car and Marvin drove down to Children's we made good time, even Brandi commented we made it in 35 minutes. No traffic, no problems, thank you God.
Right before we get to Children's, Kaden says to his mom, why do I need to get checked, I'm good. Short story you just need to be checked every three months. I think he just doesn't like to see the things he sees. We usually keep him occupied with a game or something. This time grandpa shows him videos he has on Kaden shooting hoops with his friends, and several games this year, good job grandpa!!
We get in the hospital and before we even get to our set of elevators I see a sweet little girl with either cancer or leukemia, no hair. Both parents are texting people with news of her treatment and she just sat there and smiled at everyone that would look at her. Oh honey I will pray for you that's a promise. We arrive at Kaden's floor, check in, do paper work and they called them to go in. We choose to stay in the lobby to give them privacy. As I was sitting there waiting, you see all kinds of ailments, diseases. You hear of people traveling down from Erie in a total whiteout and here we sit only 35 minutes away from a great hospital. Puts life into perspective sometimes....
These two families were dreading their drive home, hoping no to having the whiteout nor bad roads. I saw teenagers having to take care of babies with difficulties of all kinds. I went to use the ladies restroom and there witnessed a teen trying to get a feeding tube corrected, getting nervous and her mother telling her she had to learn how to take care of her baby. Oh my so sad... I always leave Children's with a thankful heart knowing God is in control and He will be with Kaden every step, not missing one step.
Kaden got a great report, his A1C was 6.2 which is very good. His numbers were good since his last appointment and his doctor even complimented him on having good numbers over the Holidays. He will now start taking his insulin with a flex pen once the insurance goes through. He is excited about this, no more having syringes. Hope the insurance goes through quick so he doesn't have to wait. His pancreas is still producing some insulin so he may have genetic type insulin, not 1 or 2. I will have to look it up to tell you the correct name. He will still be insulin dependent but still produce some insulin on his own just not enough.
Good thing he did have an appointment, his meter was off by 30 points which is not good. They gave him a new meter, that Kaden is just one of the reasons to be checked every three months.
On the car ride home it was fun just to hear Kaden and his mom talk about his appointment, so funny. He is so much like his mom, we just laughed!!! So it was not a stressful day or time but one of attention to others around me so I could pray with them.
Good drive home, no stress and again such a good report. I can not even begin to thank the Lord for His goodness and graces today......
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Becoming aware
Today was such a lovely Saturday, the sun shining, the warmth and it being the third week of January. Love the little breaks we get to get us through the winter. As I thought about the little breaks of weather I was reminded of the blessing we receive each day, some huge and some little. But if we become aware of our surroundings the Lord blesses us all the time.
Sometimes if we just go through our day, in a hurry we miss the little things that come our way. A smile from a stranger can totally change my day. If I'm stressed it changes my attitude and suddenly I become grateful once again. I try to look people in the eye and do the same, just a smile or a friendly Hi! Hoping to bring a smile on their face and change their day.
When I take my walks on Eckstein Road the Lord always shows me something. A new bird, a beautiful tree, maybe one that needs pruning and then it goes from there how I apply it to my life and how I need to constantly need pruning. Just like I am learning from Unglued, by Lysa Terkuerst. I need chiseled from the Lord. Let the chiseling begin!!
We had another great day and not just because I was able to get some clothes, but we were together, talking and enjoying being with one another. No stress, no unglued moments either. When I felt one coming on I became aware and surrendered it to the Lord, changed my attitude knowing I can not control people nor how they react and I'm not responsible either. Whew!!!
I have situation that has caused me stress before and now has surfaced again but this time I'm changing how this will end. Victory in Jesus! A year ago I would have stressed about this and even may have gossiped about it. Not this time the Lord and I will overcome together.
I am a slow student at times but I am making progress and little steps in the right direction. As long as I continue to move forward it's good.
In a different direction on becoming aware. Lately the news and programs have been talking about what designer Michelle Obama is going to wear, what the dress will look like, what the girls are going to wear, not to mention how much this is costing. I don't know about you but this just sickens me when our country is in such a bad place. People need work, places to live, car to drive, food, clothes. Could we not use the money they are spending for the lavish parties on people that are hurting. If you have driven to Pittsburgh or even downtown Butler there are people that are in need of help. I know maybe some have caused their plight but many have not and would work and earn a living. To often we turn the other way and just drive by and not become active in a real way. So many times it's the children that start collecting blankets, making sandwiches to reach out to the homeless. I read a book of an affluent lady that became homeless due to people that took advantage of her and it took years for her to get from being homeless to having a home again. I am so blessed to have a place I call home, food to eat, heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer, a car to drive and even able to help people. I'm big into paying it forward, one at a time and it will make a difference. If everyone would pray about their role and do their part we can make a difference.
I write this that you will become aware and become active and make a difference in people's lives for the Glory of God.
Sometimes if we just go through our day, in a hurry we miss the little things that come our way. A smile from a stranger can totally change my day. If I'm stressed it changes my attitude and suddenly I become grateful once again. I try to look people in the eye and do the same, just a smile or a friendly Hi! Hoping to bring a smile on their face and change their day.
When I take my walks on Eckstein Road the Lord always shows me something. A new bird, a beautiful tree, maybe one that needs pruning and then it goes from there how I apply it to my life and how I need to constantly need pruning. Just like I am learning from Unglued, by Lysa Terkuerst. I need chiseled from the Lord. Let the chiseling begin!!
We had another great day and not just because I was able to get some clothes, but we were together, talking and enjoying being with one another. No stress, no unglued moments either. When I felt one coming on I became aware and surrendered it to the Lord, changed my attitude knowing I can not control people nor how they react and I'm not responsible either. Whew!!!
I have situation that has caused me stress before and now has surfaced again but this time I'm changing how this will end. Victory in Jesus! A year ago I would have stressed about this and even may have gossiped about it. Not this time the Lord and I will overcome together.
I am a slow student at times but I am making progress and little steps in the right direction. As long as I continue to move forward it's good.
In a different direction on becoming aware. Lately the news and programs have been talking about what designer Michelle Obama is going to wear, what the dress will look like, what the girls are going to wear, not to mention how much this is costing. I don't know about you but this just sickens me when our country is in such a bad place. People need work, places to live, car to drive, food, clothes. Could we not use the money they are spending for the lavish parties on people that are hurting. If you have driven to Pittsburgh or even downtown Butler there are people that are in need of help. I know maybe some have caused their plight but many have not and would work and earn a living. To often we turn the other way and just drive by and not become active in a real way. So many times it's the children that start collecting blankets, making sandwiches to reach out to the homeless. I read a book of an affluent lady that became homeless due to people that took advantage of her and it took years for her to get from being homeless to having a home again. I am so blessed to have a place I call home, food to eat, heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer, a car to drive and even able to help people. I'm big into paying it forward, one at a time and it will make a difference. If everyone would pray about their role and do their part we can make a difference.
I write this that you will become aware and become active and make a difference in people's lives for the Glory of God.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Thankful day
This morning I took my advise and I slowed down and had a great morning. No rushed moments, frazzled times. Awesome for me as Marvin was ready once again before me but that is okay. I did what I needed to do and we/I had a great day.
We had planned to go and watch Kaden play basketball at BIHS at 3:30 since it was a home game and they were playing Seneca which Kaden has two cousins that play and it is a fun time. Our daughter sent me a text and asked if we could pick up Maddy from school and take her to see her brother play. No problem...... Retirement does have it's advantages. I dropped off Marvin, went down to pick up Maddy. Get game, Butler won and the freshman team played a good game.
Our daughter called, they had gotten slammed at Red Lobster and she was not going to be able to come and see any of Kaden's game, bummer for her. She wanted to know if we had any plans, I of course said, no worries. We will take Kaden home and take them out to eat dinner. Our Kaden has type 1 diabetes and he needs to eat at certain times, especially after the exercise he gets from playing the entire game.
We ended up at the Lyndora Hotel, they do have good wings which the grand kids and Marvin like. Good meal, good laughs, good memories and Brandi met us at the hotel and took her children home.
Off we go to Verizon as my phone was doing weird things, battery needed checked, etc. Sometimes I get nervous but not this time. She answered all our questions, fixed my phone, Good, good, and good!!
I can say I had my first unglued day and I am so thankful to God. He was with me all day. I felt His presence wrapped around me tight. It felt so good knowing I was protected by my Lord and Savior.
Glory to Jesus!!!
We had planned to go and watch Kaden play basketball at BIHS at 3:30 since it was a home game and they were playing Seneca which Kaden has two cousins that play and it is a fun time. Our daughter sent me a text and asked if we could pick up Maddy from school and take her to see her brother play. No problem...... Retirement does have it's advantages. I dropped off Marvin, went down to pick up Maddy. Get game, Butler won and the freshman team played a good game.
Our daughter called, they had gotten slammed at Red Lobster and she was not going to be able to come and see any of Kaden's game, bummer for her. She wanted to know if we had any plans, I of course said, no worries. We will take Kaden home and take them out to eat dinner. Our Kaden has type 1 diabetes and he needs to eat at certain times, especially after the exercise he gets from playing the entire game.
We ended up at the Lyndora Hotel, they do have good wings which the grand kids and Marvin like. Good meal, good laughs, good memories and Brandi met us at the hotel and took her children home.
Off we go to Verizon as my phone was doing weird things, battery needed checked, etc. Sometimes I get nervous but not this time. She answered all our questions, fixed my phone, Good, good, and good!!
I can say I had my first unglued day and I am so thankful to God. He was with me all day. I felt His presence wrapped around me tight. It felt so good knowing I was protected by my Lord and Savior.
Glory to Jesus!!!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Unglued moments
Today started out good, coffee, ......
We decided to go out for a while, Marvin always gets ready before I do and he never says a word. I put pressure on myself to start to hurry up a bit. Before we even left I had two unglued moments with my mouth snapping at Marvin. Now when I think about it, if I had my glasses on I could have read my phone, totally my fault. I asked Marvin to read my message, well he doesn't know my phone, first snap and then he asked a question, I snapped again. WOW!!! That is when I stated to him I need to slow down, we are retired right now and have all day....I grabbed both unglued books, pencil and my bracelet in hand. Got in the car and off we were, I read my study and chapter, did the homework.
I asked Marvin if he would take me to Oakmont Bakery, sure, off we go. We buy some goodies and I get in the car and Marvin hears clink. He tells me open your door, I think something fell out, I did and didn't see anything. Off we go to drive home, then OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I remember I never put on my bracelet, that must have been the clink. Instead of having an unglued moment I just thought, this is my fault. I was the one in a hurry. My normal would have been to blame Marvin for rushing me which he never does. I always tell people, you need to slow down.... I need to take my own advise. A lesson learned and hopefully tomorrow I will slow down. I can replace the bracelet, even though it was a Christmas present from my daughter Brandi. Well this isn't the frist time I have lost something nor will it be the last time. Life goes on...
Tomorrow I'm having a me part of the day. No reason for me not to slow down and enjoy it and rush around.
Lord keep chiseling me and help remind me when unglued moments come that I continue to make small stepd forward.
We decided to go out for a while, Marvin always gets ready before I do and he never says a word. I put pressure on myself to start to hurry up a bit. Before we even left I had two unglued moments with my mouth snapping at Marvin. Now when I think about it, if I had my glasses on I could have read my phone, totally my fault. I asked Marvin to read my message, well he doesn't know my phone, first snap and then he asked a question, I snapped again. WOW!!! That is when I stated to him I need to slow down, we are retired right now and have all day....I grabbed both unglued books, pencil and my bracelet in hand. Got in the car and off we were, I read my study and chapter, did the homework.
I asked Marvin if he would take me to Oakmont Bakery, sure, off we go. We buy some goodies and I get in the car and Marvin hears clink. He tells me open your door, I think something fell out, I did and didn't see anything. Off we go to drive home, then OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I remember I never put on my bracelet, that must have been the clink. Instead of having an unglued moment I just thought, this is my fault. I was the one in a hurry. My normal would have been to blame Marvin for rushing me which he never does. I always tell people, you need to slow down.... I need to take my own advise. A lesson learned and hopefully tomorrow I will slow down. I can replace the bracelet, even though it was a Christmas present from my daughter Brandi. Well this isn't the frist time I have lost something nor will it be the last time. Life goes on...
Tomorrow I'm having a me part of the day. No reason for me not to slow down and enjoy it and rush around.
Lord keep chiseling me and help remind me when unglued moments come that I continue to make small stepd forward.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Intercessory prayer
I always thought I knew what this was until the Lord got a hold of me and led me to a book, though Paul Haworth and my eyes were opened up. As I read this book, I would talk to myself and say YES!!! that is what happens to me too. In this book he talks about his life and how as he would be walking to work the Lord would say to him, Howard you need to go and knock on this door and lead her to the Lord. He would say, Lord I'm on my way to work and if I stop I'll be late. He would continue on and the Lord would speak again HOWARD, you need to knock on this door. He did only to find a lady that had prayed for someone to come to her that day. AWESOME how our God works. I write this to encourage you when you hear that still small voice nudging you to be obedient to the voice so you will not miss the blessing.
As I grow more and more in love with the Lord, I do not want to miss any blessing He may have for me. I started to journal on this, date it and my red journal book is my confirmation that indeed the Lord is speaking to me.
We need to always need to be ready, prepared for battle. That is why we/I need to saturate myself with God's word. When I do He always uses something I just read to help someone. I just need to hear that still small voice and go.
Last night something happened to a friend of mine. This really affected my heart and I was praying for her all evening. My heart was heavy and as I went to bed she was on my mind. The Lord woke me up to pray for her,it was a rough night of intercessory prayer but I knew I was to pray. The burden has not completely lifted but it is better. I will continue on in prayer for her until I hear from the Lord. If you are burden for a situation, person I would encourage you to pray for them, write it down, date it and when you see that person, ask if they were in need of prayer that day. This will be your confirmation if you heard from the Lord. My pastor told me to do this until I would know His voice. To this day I still write it down in my journal, date it and then write down the answer too.
Diana
As I grow more and more in love with the Lord, I do not want to miss any blessing He may have for me. I started to journal on this, date it and my red journal book is my confirmation that indeed the Lord is speaking to me.
We need to always need to be ready, prepared for battle. That is why we/I need to saturate myself with God's word. When I do He always uses something I just read to help someone. I just need to hear that still small voice and go.
Last night something happened to a friend of mine. This really affected my heart and I was praying for her all evening. My heart was heavy and as I went to bed she was on my mind. The Lord woke me up to pray for her,it was a rough night of intercessory prayer but I knew I was to pray. The burden has not completely lifted but it is better. I will continue on in prayer for her until I hear from the Lord. If you are burden for a situation, person I would encourage you to pray for them, write it down, date it and when you see that person, ask if they were in need of prayer that day. This will be your confirmation if you heard from the Lord. My pastor told me to do this until I would know His voice. To this day I still write it down in my journal, date it and then write down the answer too.
Diana
Monday, January 7, 2013
My day
Being led by the Holy Spirit, When I woke up this day I knew I was to visit my niece to see my great nephew. I went to the hospital to visit with Shannon and meet my new great nephew Jamison. We had a lovely visit, I was able to hold Jamison, get my picture taken with him. Loved spending time with her and Jamison. I left and as I went into the elevator a young dad came in, he reached out to me and started crying, his wife was in the operating room, a tubal pregnancy. I prayed for him right there and as I left was shaken up but knew God was in control and I was to be there at just that moment. Some would say coincidence, I say God's timing.
I left the elevator to visit another friend, as I found her room I was surprised to see her sitting on her bed. She was scheduled for her procedure and I thought I would just pray with her dad, Andrew. No God had other plans for me. I shared with Amelia what had just happened on the elevator and she said the doctor that was operating on the young mom was her doctor and she was praying for this mom. Wow! No coincidence here! I had a wonderful visit with Amelia and prayed with her before I left. Lord thank you for leading me to visit my niece and friend.
I don't know if you ever go about your day, you agenda already set as to what you think you need to get accomplished for the day. I have learned through the Lord, my husband Marvin to slow down, and enjoy the moments, joy and laughter. The laundry, dishes, cleaning will wait and it will all get done in time. But we need to be looking for opportunities from the Lord. When I do, He always leads me, speaks, teaches me something just for me that I really needed. I know as young moms we are busy and sometimes we hardly have time to breathe but just try to enjoy moments with your children, husband, friends........
My children, two daughters are grown and married with their own children and I regret not doing more with them, play times, instead of always having a clean home, clothes washed, etc...... I can not go back and have a redo but I can change and become a better wife, mother and grand mother and friend.
I write this to encourage you to enjoy your day to the fullest.
Diana
I left the elevator to visit another friend, as I found her room I was surprised to see her sitting on her bed. She was scheduled for her procedure and I thought I would just pray with her dad, Andrew. No God had other plans for me. I shared with Amelia what had just happened on the elevator and she said the doctor that was operating on the young mom was her doctor and she was praying for this mom. Wow! No coincidence here! I had a wonderful visit with Amelia and prayed with her before I left. Lord thank you for leading me to visit my niece and friend.
I don't know if you ever go about your day, you agenda already set as to what you think you need to get accomplished for the day. I have learned through the Lord, my husband Marvin to slow down, and enjoy the moments, joy and laughter. The laundry, dishes, cleaning will wait and it will all get done in time. But we need to be looking for opportunities from the Lord. When I do, He always leads me, speaks, teaches me something just for me that I really needed. I know as young moms we are busy and sometimes we hardly have time to breathe but just try to enjoy moments with your children, husband, friends........
My children, two daughters are grown and married with their own children and I regret not doing more with them, play times, instead of always having a clean home, clothes washed, etc...... I can not go back and have a redo but I can change and become a better wife, mother and grand mother and friend.
I write this to encourage you to enjoy your day to the fullest.
Diana
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